If it wasn’t real before. It’s real now.

First loan payment notice remittance.

We’re in it now fo’ sure.  I have never been so excited to write a check before.  I’m sighing happy sighs over here and thinking about the summer.

The calendars have been finalized with all the parties involved in my personal life, and I’m ready to make the travel plans.

The girls and I have a theme song that we’ve recently adopted… “Headphones” by Matt Nathanson, and the lyrics that stand out for us are these:

Ain’t too proud to swim or drown now baby

Ain’t too proud to sink or see it through

Every time I opened my mouth and talked about this… dream, I knew I was setting myself up for potential ridicule.  And despite all of the inspirational movies and stories that move us to tears and want us to be better people, there’s also a train-wreck love of watching people fail.   There have definitely been moments where the fear of failure was a strong enough to stop me in my tracks and I would really have to breathe.  And dang, it’s not really over, but holy cow – we are so much closer.  Each step taken, every door opened, ever breath taken, closer now.  These lyrics resonate so deeply with the girls and I because we knew we were ready when the outcome didn’t matter.  That it was bigger and more important to get in the water then stand at the edge forever just looking.  The possibility of swimming was AS REAL as drowning.

So here I go, writing a check that I am so proud to write.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s