Double Dog Dare You

At least once, usually twice, a week someone (who does not have dreadlocks) will shyly ask about my hair.  The conversation usually goes like this:

Person: I love your hair.  <and then the voice lowers> I’ve always wanted dreadlocks.  But what happens when you don’t want them anymore?  Don’t you have to shave your head?  And how long did it take?  Was it hard?

Me: Thanks!  I love my hair too.  One of best decisions I made ever (lol) was to put in the dreadlocks.  When I don’t want them anymore, I will not have them.  I have had them for over 3 years though, and I don’t regret putting them in, even if one day I will want them out.  I have loved them through this whole process.  And it took a long time to initially put them in (12 hours).  I had really good friends who helped me though and it was fun even though it was hard.

Person: I just love it.  I don’t know if I’m brave enough to do it though.

Me: (I just smile – what do you say?)

Please know that I was kind of scared to death to actually put in the dreadlocks.  What if for the rest of my life people asked me where I could score pot?  What if it was just “too much”?  What if, what if, What IF?  Finally, I knew that I wanted it bad enough I was willing to suffer the consequences because the consequences couldn’t be any worse than the want, but paralyzed from fear.

This one time (actually it’s been 3 times) we went to Mexico (my family and I) to build houses.

And we’ve had lots of conversations with people that go like this:

Person (who has not been to Mexico to build houses): Oh!  You take your kids to Mexico to build houses?  What if something happens?  It’s dangerous.  Are you thinking about your kids?  It’s brave though – I don’t know how you do it.  Do you know what can happen?  Have you thought about it?

Me: It doesn’t feel brave.  And I hope what happens is that we build a house for a family.  And if something bad happens I hope we can keep the perspective that bad and sad things happen all over the world, sometimes in our own homes and backyards, not just when you go and build a house that will change someone’s life for the better.

Please know that the first time we went my baby was a baby (she was still 3) and it was scary.  It was hard to make that decision, and yet we knew for our family it was the right decision.  We’ve gone back 3 times total now, and every time reinforces our initial decision. 

A couple of years ago I ran a marathon…  and the conversation from people who had never run a marathon went like…..  “You know running is bad for your joints right?  I don’t run, but I know lots of people who do and they are still… ______   How can you possibly run?  I hate running!  I don’t know why people run, etc….”

Oh, and This one time I became a Bikram Yoga Junkie….. and the conversations from people who never/rarely practice yoga or Bikram go like….. “I would love to do yoga, but I’m not flexible.  How do you stand that heat?  Yoga isn’t real exercise.

This one time we opened our house up to someone in need…. And we heard “OH!  But what if – you are stolen from, cheated from, lied to”

This one time I wanted to open a grocery store in my hometown….

and people have said:  “Do you know how hard it is open a business?  How much risk it is (especially grocery)?   What if you lose everything?


This post isn’t about me (I know it sounds like it’s ONLY about me – sorry – stick with me here)

So what’s happening with The Butter Churn?  I get the feeling that because the fundraiser is over it would be nice to hear that everything is wrapped up and tidy and things are moving along perfectly.

They are… Sort of.  I don’t know if you know this or not, but Common Sense isn’t very common (I have a whole other post on that, but I digress).  And grocery stores are considered Big Time Risks.  Start Ups especially.  I have a strange feeling that if I would have had the idea for something made in China that would be used for a minute and then thrown away… I would have lots of lenders who would love to hand me money.  Odd – that providing a place where local produce and food would be available is super high risk… And don’t I realize I could lose everything?

So lots of feedback from people who have never done something like this.  Who probably won’t do something like this.  And the feedback is about how start ups fail, grocery stores fail, and  Woodhull has no problem with food.  And businesses that are successful solve problems.  (I can’t even go into this right now it makes me so frustrated.  The layers of socio-economic judgment of that are mind-boggling)

My track record in life says “I will do what I set out to do especially when it’s – 1. the greater good 2. the right thing, and 3.  I don’t care if it’s hard.”

In fact – tell me more about how I could potentially fail, so that the attempt isn’t even made, because of fear of failure.

And I will smile, adjust my dreadlocks, and go looking for those who support me.  Who more than likely have done what I want to do, rather than always dream of wanting, but not doing, because of fear.

So the quick wrap up – The Butter Churn is working day and night to exist.  It may take awhile for it to be visible on the outside, from the inside though – it’s non stop.  And your love and support feeds us.  Thank you.

One thought on “Double Dog Dare You

  1. So gratifying to read your post…all my life, I’ve had weird dreams and inspirations but I listened to the naysayers and regret every lost opportunity. Go, Stephanie, go! We need your store to succeed as much as the town of Woodhull…with even local chains like Safeway being bought by outsiders and local stores closing, I’m dreaming this might become a national movement…


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